Practical ways to take care of yourself while building healthy relationships
Written by Dr. Antonia Repollet
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Certified School Psychologist
GI Psychology
Dating while living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) can bring up a mix of emotions—excitement, nerves, and sometimes worries about how your body and your symptoms might be seen by someone else. It’s typical and valid to wonder what to share, when to share it, and how to balance your health needs with wanting to connect.
Continuing reading to learn more about practical ways to navigate dating with IBD while protecting your emotional well-being.
Boundaries: Protecting Your Comfort
- Set the pace. You don’t need to share everything about your health right away. Choose the time and place that feels safest for you.
- Practice your words. Having a sentence or two ready (“I have a digestive condition that sometimes makes me feel sick or tired”) can make it easier when you’re ready to talk.
- Listen to yourself. If you feel pressure to push past your comfort zone, whether that’s with food, physical activity, or intimacy, pause and remember that it’s okay to say no. Boundaries help you feel safe and respected.
Body Image: Building a Relationship with Your Body
Living with IBD can change how you experience your body, whether it’s scars, bloating, fatigue, and/or medical devices. Instead of forcing yourself to “love” your body all the time, try focusing on building a kinder, more balanced relationship with it:
- Body neutrality over pressure to love. It’s okay if you don’t always feel positive about your body. You can practice noticing what’s neutral instead: “My stomach feels uncomfortable right now” or “These are the hands I use to text my best friend”. Neutrality takes the pressure off.
- Appreciate sensory comfort. Notice textures, scents, or movements that help you feel safe in your body—a cozy hoodie, a soft blanket, walking barefoot in grass, or listening to calming music. These anchors can remind you that your body is a place where comfort is possible.
- Redefine strength. Strength doesn’t have to mean pushing through pain. It can mean resting when you need to, asking for help, or protecting your energy.
- Create a safe body space. Some teens find it helpful to keep one space in their room or backpack filled with items that feel regulating to their body (like a stress ball, weighted pillow, or scent they enjoy). This can be a reminder that your body deserves support, not criticism.
- Expand your self-story. Instead of narrowing your focus to how your body looks, include the parts of you that bring connection and meaning (e.g., your humor, creativity, persistence, or the way you care for others).
Confidence: Showing Up as You
Confidence doesn’t mean being loud, perfect, or never feeling nervous. It’s about finding ways to show up that feel real to you, even if that looks different from how other people do it.
- Define your own version of confidence. For some, it’s making eye contact or speaking up. For others, it’s quietly sharing something meaningful, sending a thoughtful text, or simply being present. Your version counts.
- Collect evidence of who you are. Keep a small list, journal, or even a note on your phone where you record things you’re proud of, like moments when you helped a friend, solved a difficult problem, or handled a tough day. Pull it out when doubt creeps in.
- Use grounding cues. Before meeting someone or during a date, try carrying a small object (like a coin, bracelet, or smooth stone) that reminds you of steadiness. Touching it can bring you back to yourself if you start to spiral.
- Let curiosity lead. Instead of worrying about being “too much” or “not enough”, focus on learning about the other person. Asking questions can take the pressure off and remind you that dating is a two-way exchange.
- Value fit over performance. Not every connection will click, and that’s not a failure. Confidence grows when you remember: the goal isn’t to convince someone to like you, it’s to find people who feel good to be around.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Dating with IBD can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it by yourself. At GI Psychology, we specialize in supporting teens with IBD and other GI conditions. Whether it’s learning coping strategies, building confidence, or navigating relationships, we’re here to help you feel empowered in both your health and your connections.
We offer dedicated support for adults living with IBD through our IBD Psychotherapy Group—a space designed to provide evidence-based tools, community, and long-term resilience. Enroll today!
More Helpful Resources for Teens with IBD: